finally, i feel alive.!!!

assalamualaikum

can i laugh out loud.??? hahahahahahahahahahahahaha....... ok, dah lama rasanya tak gelak sepenuh hati sampai puas hati. sebelum ni, nak gelak pun takde masa. oh, apakah perasaan ini.?

yes, i live like a robot about two months ago. study all day and night, full with emotions, crying, sobbing, stress and all those bad feelings. sometimes, i miss my old izzati ellyani who i used to be. exams has transformed me to be a robot. feelingless and empty. maybe aku rasa aku tengah pikul tanggungjawab yang besar, harapan keluarga, rakyat dan agama. 

before this:

• makan as simple as i can. but now, i can cook everything that i like and have good food for myself.
• mandi as fast as i can. sampaikan dah masuk bilik air nak mandi, lepas tu keluar balik kerana fikir, "buang masa je mandi". but now, aku boleh mandi seberapa lama yang aku suka.
• skype dengan parents once a week je. but now, hari-hari pon boleh. no more crying and i won't ask ayah untuk pos ibu datang sheffield to take care of me.
• bilik sangatlah semak. but now, nak bersihkan bilik hari-hari sampai berseri-seri
• deactivate my facebook. but now, hey i'm back.! jom stalking orang..!!! hehe.
• tido yang tidak lena. sebelum tido fikir dah study apa harini dan fikir nak study apa hari esok. but now, i want to sleep as long as i want. 8 hours beauty sleep with an empty mind, baby.!!!

ya allah, i can't describe this feeling. rasa lapang sangat. rasa bebas, rasa selesa, rasa bahagia.. rasa macam jatuh cinta dengan diri sendiri. hahaha. aku rasa sangat bersyukur sampaikan aku baca yaasin, berzikir dan berdoa dalam tangisan kerana allah bagi aku perasaan kebahagiaan dan ketenangan yang dah lama aku tunggu. terima kasih ya allah kerana kau permudahkan segalanya dan sentiasa bersama aku through thick and thin. =)

a special thanks to athirah farhana and faezah harun for being my best friends in the world. thank you sebab temankan pergi library setiap hari dari pukul 7pm sampai 1am. study sama-sama sampai nak pecah kepala. tenangkan hati dan perasaan yang gundah gulana. insyaallah, semua usaha kita akan membuahkan hasil. thank you. may allah rewards all your good deeds. oh, rindu nak dengar radio era fm sama-sama sambil gelak-gelak. hehe.

finally, i feel alive and i get my normal life back.!

"good job izzati ellyani. thank you for being a strong girl last two months."

million gazillion thanks for your support too. i really appreciate it. lepas ni, aku akan aktif berblog memandangkan banyak sangat masa. hehe. habislah korang, kena baca my blog sampai muntah. LOL. ^__^

p/s: thank you my best blogger friend. terharu bila ada special post. i don't know why you post it, but i feel so happy. thank you..do you miss me that much ke.? hehe.  =D

p/s: i'll start my 2nd semester this monday. urghhhhh... i should enjoy my holiday to the fullest. yeay yeay yeay.!!!