Final Goodbye

Assalamualaikum

Its new year 2013. Everyone celebrating it with happiness and joy. I start my new year with tahlil arwah for atuk. Atuk meninggal pukul 5 pagi, 1 January 2013 about 9pm waktu UK. Atuk dah lama sakit berbulan-bulan lamanya. I can't bear with these pains and sadness in my heart, though we've expected and well prepared for this. I cried, cried and cried with all my heart. 

I am so glad Atuk hembuskan nafas terakhir dengan wan, ibu dan abang. I know how much atuk loves them. How I wished to be there, hugging and comforting them. I still remember our last goodbye. He kept on repeating that he wanted to be healthy again and sent me off at the airport but he didn't. I still remember his minyak atar smell, his smile, his kiss and his warm hug. He loved ikan bakar so much and we really enjoyed our fine dinner at Bayswater. :)

My dearest lovely atuk,

I am on my final year, struggling to get the first class degree and will be graduating within 7 months. I'll find a job as a chemical engineer, earn my first salary and I want to travel with you. I want to share all my travel experiences, showing you all the pictures and chatting non-stop with you. Abang is getting married soon and you will have the first granddaughter-in-law. But you went so soon. 

Our final picture together during eid-fitri 2011

My dearest atuk,

Though you are far away, I'll continue my journey and make you proud. My prayers and duas are all I have for you. Semoga atuk tenang di sana dan ditempatkan di kalangan orang yang beriman. Amin.

I lost my niece on my 2nd year, a cousin on 3rd year and dearest atuk on 4th year. These are the things you have to be prepared when you're being away from your beloved family: losing people that you love dearly. 

Lagu ini sangat memujuk hati 

Hadapi dengan senyuman.. :)

Yes, I start my new year with pain and sorrow but I developed strength within myself. I believe a challenging future are waiting ahead and Allah is training me to be a strong girl and face all the difficulties with perseverance. I love to cry but I'll stand up and fight. Let's start this new year with the most gracious name of Allah. Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. :)

p/s: I hope to meet atuk in my dream and at least bid the last farewell. Al-Fatihah.